lewd limericks

(size isn't everything)
There once was a man from Ghent
Who had a penis so long it bent
It was so much trouble
That he kept it double
And instead of coming he went.

(the miser)
There once was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I admit
I'm a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save".

(problem child)
There was a lady who triplets begat
their names be Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun breeding
But trouble feeding
Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat.

(motoring accident)
There was a young student from Boston,
Who drove around in an Austen.
There was room for his ass
and a gallon of gas.
But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.

(Kennedy Limerick)
There once was a Senator from Mass
who was searchin around for a lass;
He lucked out and found it;
He fucked up and drowned it.
And that was the end of HIS ass!

(fatherly advice)
There was a young fellow named perkin
Who was always jerkin his gherkin
His papa said perkin
Stop jerkin your gherkin
Your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin

(who's in charge)
A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

(moby dick)
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it!"