Irish Lies

What's Irish diplomacy?
The ability to tell a man to go to hell so that he'll look forward to making the trip.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish wake?
One Less Drunk
Why dont't Irish Women use vibrators?
They chip their teeth
Why do Tipperary men always carry rubbish in their pockets?
For identification
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A Corkman was charged with murder but was acquitted by the skin of his teeth. Afterwards he told his solicitor that he could prove he was innocent because he was in jail at the time the crime was committed.
'Why on earth didn't you tell that to the court?' asked his solicitor.
'I thought that it might prejudice the jury against me', said the Corkman.