An Irish Daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff .... dad .... I became a prostitute "
"Ye what??!! Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad . as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye, daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership in the country club..." ... (takes a breath) ... "and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera , and ...."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff .... a prostitute, dad! .... sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a PROTESTANT. Come here and give yer old dad a hug!"