Sunday, March 30, 2008

laugh and the world laughs with you, unless you are Canadian

Internet "research" into jokes various European nations find funny

what the Germans like:
"Why is television called a medium? Because it is neither rare nor well-done."

The French:
"You're a high-priced lawyer! If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me?"

"Absolutely! What's the second question?"

The Belgians:
"Well, you see, there are basically three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count and those that can't."

The Swedes:
"A guy phones the local hospital and yells, `you've gotta send help! My wife's in labour!" The nurse says, `calm down. Is this her first child?' He replies, `no! This is her husband!"'

Canadians are not funny, apparently, nor are they European, but they like this:
"What do you call a woman who can balance four pints of beer on her head? Beatrix."

Men like:
"A guy walked into a psychiatrist's office wearing only cling-film underpants. The psychiatrist said: `well, I can clearly see you're nuts."'

Whereas women prefer:
"A man walks into a bar with a piece of Tarmac under his arm. He says to the barman: `A pint for me, and one for the road'."

And the best the Brits came up with:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars.

During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says: "I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent ..."

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