List of film titles lost in translation stolen from Huffington Post.
Three Men and a Baby - Marx, Lenin and Mao change a diaper (China recognises it is all about the means of production)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - If you leave me, I delete you (Italy thinks the film was about anti-virus software)
The Naked Gun - The Gun Died Laughing (Israel finds death hilarious)
The China Syndrome - American Nutballs (China tells the world what the syndrome really is)
Get Smart - Is the Spy capable or not (Taiwan probably gives patrons their money if the answer is no)
Annie Hall - Urban Neurotic (ah those laugh a minute Germans at it again!)
Hot Shots - Warm Shots (Czech Rep turned the temperature down)
Knocked Up - Slightly Pregnant (Peru wasn't completely sure)
Boogie Nights - His Great Device Makes him Famous (Size does matter in China)
Grease - Vaseline (Argentinians prefer petroleum jelly as a lubricant)
American Pie - American Virgin Man (Hong Kong doesn't want to confuse food with sex)
The Full Monty - Six Naked Pigs (China blames capitalism in Sheffield)
The Matrix - Young people who traverse dimensions while wearing sunglasses (France hasn't got the hang of this catchy title business)
Porky's - Tofuey (China modified for vegetarian tastes)
Army of Darkness - Captain Supermarket (Japan is as unfathomable as ever)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Hitler is no longer a happy little vegemite
In what is fast becoming the Godwin's Law of the 21st century, Hitler's downfall moment is now put to the service of canning isnack2.0
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
obligatory blonde joke
A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas.
When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money." But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."
The man arched an eyebrow (as one might expect).
"Anything?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
"Well then, just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room.
The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
"Come in and close the door" the man said.
She did.
He then said "Now get on your knees."
She did.
"Now take down my zipper."
She did.
"Now go ahead ... take it out....." He said.
She reached in and grabbed it with both hands .
Then paused.
The man closed his eyes and whispered ..
"Well ... go ahead then."
The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, ....
and tentatively said ...."Hello. Mum, can you hear me?"
When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money." But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."
The man arched an eyebrow (as one might expect).
"Anything?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
"Well then, just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room.
The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
"Come in and close the door" the man said.
She did.
He then said "Now get on your knees."
She did.
"Now take down my zipper."
She did.
"Now go ahead ... take it out....." He said.
She reached in and grabbed it with both hands .
Then paused.
The man closed his eyes and whispered ..
"Well ... go ahead then."
The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, ....
and tentatively said ...."Hello. Mum, can you hear me?"
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
strange bikes
This is the Nulla bike, which means “nothing” in Italian. Named for its missing parts, including the chain, fork and spokes, the Nulla uses a “direct-gear-chain drive system” instead to support the wheels and produce movement.
One of eight odd bicycle designs here
One of eight odd bicycle designs here
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Right, said Fred
I finally started my new job last week... And some of the people I work with are a real piece of work.
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Hungry Jacks, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these retards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Hungry Jacks, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these retards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
don't they grow up fast nowadays?
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door. It's opened by a ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other, and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.
Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mum or dad home?"
Little Boy: "What the fuck do you think?"
Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mum or dad home?"
Little Boy: "What the fuck do you think?"
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Weird beards
Jack Passion, a 23-year-old American crowned natural beard champion of the world at Brighton 2007. 14 more of his hairy ilk here (photo by Regina Pirrie).
Good reason not to give up the grog
The wagon is bad for you:
"Going teetotal after being a regular drinker can trigger depression, even in mice."
"Going teetotal after being a regular drinker can trigger depression, even in mice."
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The mathematics of urinal protocol
Big questions of our time (Part 354 in an occasional series):
what is the general formula for the number of guys who will fill in N urinals if they all come in one at a time and follow the urinal protocol?
Find out what urinal protocol is and what is the answer here.
what is the general formula for the number of guys who will fill in N urinals if they all come in one at a time and follow the urinal protocol?
Find out what urinal protocol is and what is the answer here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)