Signs

** On a Plumbers truck : "We repair what your husband fixed."

** On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

** Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

** At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

** Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

** At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

** On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

** In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

** On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

** At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

** On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

** In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

** On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

** At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

** Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

** In a veterinarian's waiting room : "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

** At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

** In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."

** In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait