• I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail
• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen
• Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America
• They renamed Wall Street Wal-Mart Street
• When I called the Suicide Hotline, I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
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