Wednesday, July 21, 2010

It's step 16 that bothers me

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A neccessary evil for some !

Ghost Shite;
That's the kind where you feel the shite come out, have shite on the toilet paper, but there is no shite in the toilet.
Clean Shite;
The kind where you shite it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Second Wave Shite;
It happens when you're done shiteting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to shite some more.
Brain Hemorrage Shite;
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " shite. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.
Sweetcorn shite;
Self Explanatory
Log shite;
The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush
Drinkers shite;
That is the kind of shite that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet .
"Gee I wish I could shite" shit
Its the kind of shit where you want to shite, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Shit;
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Shite Also known as "The Power dump";
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
Liquid Shite;
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, spashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
Mexican Food Shite;
A class all its own
The Crowd Pleaser;
This shite is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.
Mood Enhancer;
This shite occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.
The Ritual;
This shite occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper
Guiness Book of Records Shite;
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations
The aftershock shit;
This shite has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is effected.
The Honeymoons over shit;
This is any shite created in the presence of another person.
A shite so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance
Characterized by its floatability, this shite has been known to resurface after many flushes
A shite which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper
Phantom Shite;
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there
Now you see it, now you don't. this shite is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control
The bombshell;
A shite that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shite (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shiteting facilities.
Snake Charmer;
A long skinny shite which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless Olympic Shite This shite occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers shite.