Saturday, March 28, 2009

Winners of Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year

as compiled by (1978-2008). HT Scepticlawyer.

1978: Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice
(I would have thought a workshop on clothed mice might be more tricky)
1979: The Madam as Entrepreneur: Career Management in House Prostitution
(the world's second oldest profession gets an economic overhaul)
1980: The Joy of Chickens
(fowl play)
1981: Last Chance at Love: Terminal Romances
(till death do us part)
1982: Population and Other Problems
(full marks for vagueness)
1983: The Theory of Lengthwise Rolling
(damn, its the widthwise rolling I have problems with)
1984: The Book of Marmalade: Its Antecedents, Its History and Its Role in the World Today
(what did they put on their toast in the neolithic period?)
1985: Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Power: How to Increase the Other 90% of Your Mind to Increase the Size of Your Breasts
(er, are you saying that breasts are 10% of your mind?)
1986: Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality
1987: No Award
(come on, surely there had to be at least one whacko title in 1987?)
1988: Versailles: The View From Sweden
(a bit hazy, Denmark and the North Sea blocking the view a bit)
1989: How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art
(written by bears no doubt)
1990: Lesbian Sadomasochism Safety Manual
(keep handy)
1991: No Award
(see 1987, not trying hard enough)
1992: How to Avoid Huge Ships
(stay on land)
1993: American Bottom Archaeology
(scientists digging holes)
1994: Highlights in the History of Concrete
(a thrill a minute collection dating back to the exploits of William the Concreter)
1995: Reusing Old Graves
(there are more and more people dying every day, you know)
1996: Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers
(where do you send back a Thracian postie who has passed his expiry date?)
1997: The Joy of Sex: Pocket Edition
(one-eyed trousered snakery)
1998: Development in Dairy Cow Breeding and Management: and New Opportunities to Widen the Uses of Straw
(perhaps its a typo and its the "use of straws")
1999: Weeds in a Changing World
(I feel for their pain)
2000: High Performance Stiffened Structures
2001: Butterworths Corporate Manslaughter Service
(no win no fee)
2002: Living With Crazy Buttocks
(nothing worse than an unpredictable arse)
2003: The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories
(mustang sally in hot tongue action)
2004: Bombproof Your Horse
(especially the lesbian ones)
2005: People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It
(a crucial handbook for the busy psychotic)
2006: The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification
(I'm sure David Attenborough did something on this once)
2007: If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs
(are they saying if you want to end a relationship, keep your legs closed?)
And finally 2008: The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-miligram Containers of Fromage Frais
No coffee table should be complete without it.

1 comment:

Legal Eagle said...

I love the little asides - especially the one for "How to avoid Big Ships"