Thursday, March 31, 2011

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Monday, March 28, 2011

irish yoke

An Irishman went for a job as a blacksmith. Was asked if he had experience shoeing horses. He said no but he once told a donkey to fuck off.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Friday, March 25, 2011

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Monday, March 14, 2011

biscuits

A banker, a Daily Mail reader and an income support claimant sit round a table. There are 12 biscuits on a plate. The banker takes 11 and tells the Daily Mail reader, "You want to be careful, that scrounger's after your biscuit."

Friday, March 11, 2011

Lost Lionel

Larry Gogan's Just a Minute quiz answers

Larry Gogan is an Irish DJ who is only slightly older than Noah. His most famous radio segment is a "Just a Minute" quiz where contestants on the phone race the clock to answer as many questions they can in 60 seconds. Here are some actual answers over the years.

Something a blind man might use? A Sword

A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon

Name the Capital of France? F

Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell

Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar

Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital

What is Hitlers first name? Heil

As happy as.... (Larry gave a hint - think of my name) A pig in shit

Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.

A dangerous race? The Arabs

Something that floats in a bath? Water

An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse

Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair

A famous Royal? Mail

Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings

A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Something a cat does? Goes to the Toilet

Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate

A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on

Something associated with pigs? The Police

A sign of the Zodiac? April

Something people might be allergic to? Skiing

Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep

Something you put on walls? A roof

Something Slippery? A conman

A kind of ache? A fillet of fish

A Jacket Potato topping? Jam

A food that can be brown or white? A potato

A famous Scotsman? Jock

A famous Scotsman? Vinnie Jones

Something you open other than a door? Your bowels

A mint named after a Grand Prix Commentator? ( Larry's Hint: you suck them) Dickie Davis

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Ramblin' Charlie

From a series of Charlie Sheen quotes as New Yorker cartoons

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Prostate Exam...Thai Style.

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service, an Englishman decided to have his next test carried out while visiting in Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.
As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination.

"At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse.

"I haven't got an erection" said the man.

"No, but I have" replied the nurse.

The President's Speech

throwing baby out with the bathwater