No more nails!

As found at The Inquisitr

What happens when a famous person dies

Found here

Pacman's Twitter twouble

via Gam0vr

ps Bacon is Life

see link for more passive-aggressive notes.

I'LL LEAVE BRITAIN FOR A MILLION POUNDS, SAYS EVERYONE

Full story here

hortheth for courtheth

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.

His buddy asks, 'How will I recognize him?'

'That's easy; he's a dwarf with a speech impediment.'

So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.

'A female horth.'

So he shows him a prized filly.

'Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?'

So the guy picks up the dwarf and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

'Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?'

So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

'Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf?'

The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.

'Nice mouf, can I see her twat?'

Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the dwarf's head up the horse's fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

'Perhapth I should rephrase that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?

Latest in hot dog fashion

In case of fire, do not use Twitter

Miss Landmine

The millions of landmines planted in Angola during the civil war inspired a competition for injured women. Created by Norwegian artist Morten Traavik, Miss Landmine celebrates pride and empowerment over physical perfection. In this beauty contest 10 women competed for the title of most beautiful mutilated Angolan woman for a first prize of a prosthetic leg prosthesis.

One of a list of 10 bizarre beauty pageants

sneak pics of Banksy's new exhibition

More here

Belladonna's How to eat a popsicle like a porn star

HT VTAY

Best man speech flowchart

Classic quotes from Plan Nine from Outer Space

Paula Trent: ...A flying saucer? You mean the kind from up there?
Jeff Trent: Yeah, either that or its counterpart.

===
Lieutenant John Harper: I'll bet my badge that we haven't seen the last of those weirdies.

===
Criswell: Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

===
Colonel Tom Edwards: Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our earth?
Eros: Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots.
Jeff Trent: Now you just hold on, Buster.

===
The Ruler: Plan 9? Ah, yes. Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead. Long distance electrodes shot into the pineal and pituitary gland of the recently dead.

===
Criswell: Perhaps, on your way home, someone will pass you in the dark, and you will never know it... for they will be from outer space.

More here

Still lives with party hat

One of a sample of photoshopped entries in a party hat contest

2009 World's Ugliest Dog Contest Contenders

Say hello to Squiggy, one of the candidates in the 2009 World's Ugliest Dog Contest

How not to release a leopard

Snow White - not so happy ever after

Russia's got talent too

World's wackiest beds

see here for more examples

world stinging nettle eating competition

As someone who had a morbid fear of these buggers growing up in Ireland, this is my idea of hell

big news...Liverpool sign Bent

planning permission problems at Vienna museum

This car drives like a dog

Morphology of breadties

everything you never wanted to know about bread ties or to give them their scientific name occlupanids

Lost or run away?

Was this shaved cat lost or did it have enough of its cruel owners?

UFO heaven

One of a collection of apparent UFO sightings here

how a dance movement starts

Swine flu: panic reaction