Edna

A 45 year old woman, Edna, had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, Edna decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! It was the full package and since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital but, while crossing the street on her way home, she was run over by an ambulance and killed.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied: "Fuck me Edna, I didn't recognise you!"