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July
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- The stars that play with laughing Sam's dice
- Punctuation is important
- Beer in a squirrel
- Ring finger
- break this lown lawn and you'll need a lown lawnyer
- It's step 16 that bothers me
- Dog Day Afternoon
- The Computer: It's a homo's devil machine
- so what exactly was it that so freaked out Tony Ab...
- Film classics on vuvuzela
- The moral of Aunty Sharon
- There are times when I wish I could draw bears
- Solid Potato Salad Gyrations
- Meet Paul, our new future directions strategist
- Anus Beef: It's a little bit fancy
- The 100 greatest movie insults of all time
- blow me
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July
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About Me
- Derek Barry
- No longer here since 2009. Find me now at woollydays.wordpress.com
1 comment:
A neccessary evil for some !
Ghost Shite;
That's the kind where you feel the shite come out, have shite on the toilet paper, but there is no shite in the toilet.
Clean Shite;
The kind where you shite it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Second Wave Shite;
It happens when you're done shiteting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to shite some more.
Brain Hemorrage Shite;
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " shite. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.
Sweetcorn shite;
Self Explanatory
Log shite;
The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush
Drinkers shite;
That is the kind of shite that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet .
"Gee I wish I could shite" shit
Its the kind of shit where you want to shite, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Shit;
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Shite Also known as "The Power dump";
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
Liquid Shite;
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, spashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
Mexican Food Shite;
A class all its own
The Crowd Pleaser;
This shite is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.
Mood Enhancer;
This shite occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.
The Ritual;
This shite occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper
Guiness Book of Records Shite;
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations
The aftershock shit;
This shite has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is effected.
The Honeymoons over shit;
This is any shite created in the presence of another person.
Groaner;
A shite so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance
Floater;
Characterized by its floatability, this shite has been known to resurface after many flushes
Ranger;
A shite which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper
Phantom Shite;
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there
Peek-a-boo-shit;
Now you see it, now you don't. this shite is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control
The bombshell;
A shite that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shite (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shiteting facilities.
Snake Charmer;
A long skinny shite which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless Olympic Shite This shite occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers shite.
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