From today's Crikey, some great Paul Keating putdowns:
On John Hewson:
* He's like a shiver waiting for a spine
* Debating with him is like being flogged by a warm lettuce
* A feral abacus
* The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly (after Hewson asked him why he wouldn’t call an early election)
On Andrew Peacock:
* A souffle doesn't rise twice
On Wilson Tuckey:
* He'd be flat out counting past ten
On John Howard:
* He's like a lizard on a rock, alive but looking dead
* A desiccated coconut
* What we have got is a dead carcass, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him.
* ...the brain-damaged Leader of the Opposition...
* But I will never get to the stage of wanting to lead the nation standing in front of the mirror each morning clipping the eyebrows here and clipping the eyebrows there with Janette and the kids: It’s like ‘Spot the eyebrows’.
* From this day onwards, Howard will wear his leadership like a crown of thorns, and in the parliament I’ll do everything to crucify him (speaking of his 1986 leadership)
On Jeff Kennett spending over $20 million on office renovations:
* He's into squalor. He can't afford an ambulance if you have a heart attack. He can't afford lavatories at railway stations. He's got the Treasury done up like the Reichstag.
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