Irish i's

Why men should not take phone messages

2012-02-09T06:19:00.001+10:00

Back door man

2012-02-07T15:25:00.000+10:00

Facebook and you

2012-02-01T14:58:00.001+10:00

Best argument yet for the Oxford comma

2012-02-01T09:42:00.001+10:00

O'Brien would have approved

2012-01-31T08:31:00.000+10:00

Tatty infographic

2012-01-30T12:54:00.001+10:00

Heredity Wars

2012-01-28T15:02:00.002+10:00

carcat

2012-01-27T09:23:00.000+10:00

family feud

2012-01-25T11:13:00.001+10:00

Two out of three aint bad

2012-01-23T16:56:00.000+10:00

Dutiful wife

2012-01-23T11:28:00.000+10:00

Dog's honest truth

2012-01-18T12:29:00.001+10:00

The Japanese are having a great fuckin' sale

2012-01-16T10:11:00.000+10:00

Full story at Gawker

catnapped

2012-01-16T07:55:00.001+10:00

Heath Robinson deluxe model

2012-01-13T14:32:00.001+10:00

U Bahn to U Boat, London style

2012-01-13T08:27:00.000+10:00

From Stickers on the Central Line

How to tell the difference

2012-01-11T21:17:00.001+10:00

Boys in the hood

2012-01-11T09:59:00.000+10:00

Not such a fun guy

2012-01-11T00:11:00.000+10:00

Oh the Places you'll go at Burning Man

2012-01-09T20:08:00.001+10:00

For those times when you just don't care

2012-01-08T20:20:00.001+10:00

Apple water

2012-01-08T16:55:00.000+10:00

Wikipedia 5,000 page print edition

2012-01-06T14:02:00.003+10:00

serious car wash

2012-01-06T13:54:00.001+10:00

salutary lesson

2012-01-06T11:16:00.001+10:00

From the 50 most brilliant or obnoxious Facebook posts of 2011

Community announcement

2012-01-06T11:14:00.000+10:00

Marvin Gaye vs The Pixies

2012-01-06T09:01:00.001+10:00

Cat story

2012-01-06T08:59:00.000+10:00

season's greetings

2012-01-04T12:44:00.002+10:00

After his examination, the doctor said to the elderly man: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'

'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After I have sex, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said:
'Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?'

The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: 'Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time; and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?'

"Oh, that crazy old Fool'' she replied. 'That's because the first time is usually in January, and the second time is in August.

Tree huggers not welcome

2012-01-04T12:43:00.001+10:00

unequal opportunity

2012-01-03T23:12:00.000+10:00

WE will decide

2012-01-03T22:34:00.001+10:00

Rules of candy giving

2012-01-02T09:21:00.000+10:00

I've got a little list

2012-01-01T10:28:00.000+10:00

pyingpyongpyang

2011-12-29T19:39:00.000+10:00

Public Service Announcement

2011-12-25T06:02:00.000+10:00

All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

New Ocracy needed

2011-12-24T10:55:00.000+10:00

From the WaPo's year in cartoons

Best fails of 2011

2011-12-23T14:26:00.001+10:00

dead setter

2011-12-23T12:43:00.000+10:00

Born is the king of the occupied West Bank

2011-12-20T14:00:00.001+10:00

Find the panda

2011-12-20T13:58:00.000+10:00

duck for cover

2011-12-13T21:00:00.001+10:00

Terrible twoness

2011-12-10T20:37:00.000+10:00

Cows and Cows and Cows

2011-12-10T11:04:00.001+10:00

Voted the best Aussie joke

2011-12-01T19:38:00.000+10:00

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast
He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.

Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.

'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'
The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead.

Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'

The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn.

But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.

The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.'
He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it.
'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that...

So what's the other possible good news?

'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!

Know the warning signs

2011-11-30T08:46:00.001+10:00

Merkling

2011-11-29T18:22:00.002+10:00

Easy mistake to make

2011-11-28T16:44:00.000+10:00

How to outdo your neighbours Christmas lights

2011-11-28T10:07:00.000+10:00

A message from Jimmy to the students of the world

2011-11-27T10:35:00.001+10:00

Doubleya Obama

2011-11-26T21:28:00.001+10:00

Another miraculous picture of Jesus

2011-11-18T09:55:00.002+10:00

Mitt Romney stuffs the ice chest

2011-10-28T15:45:00.001+10:00

monotreme venn diagram

2011-10-28T13:02:00.003+10:00

Death Star canteen in lego

2011-10-28T11:01:00.001+10:00

How peanut butter is made

2011-10-27T12:39:00.000+10:00

Stop the gas giants now

2011-10-26T13:33:00.000+10:00

Goldfish burial

2011-10-25T19:59:00.001+10:00

90 corgis in costume

2011-10-25T18:24:00.000+10:00

See the other 89 here

Dog chasing leaves

2011-10-24T19:51:00.001+10:00

found here

occupational hazard

2011-10-20T15:43:00.000+10:00

Handy Facebook warning

2011-10-20T12:44:00.000+10:00

Clinton Foundation brains trust

2011-10-19T15:04:00.001+10:00

Clinton Foundation: Celebrity Division from President Bill Clinton

by George! He's right

2011-10-17T10:24:00.000+10:00

A magazine is an ipad that doesn't work

2011-10-16T11:29:00.001+10:00

Animal from Mars

2011-10-15T21:19:00.000+10:00

From 25 Pictures Of Cats And Dogs Photobombing Each Other

"Maths should just be left out of the equation"

2011-10-13T17:08:00.001+10:00

Balloon Tardis

2011-10-13T12:34:00.000+10:00

story at Boing Boing

even an apple a day wasn't enough

2011-10-12T19:08:00.000+10:00

Norn Iron 2018 world cup bid

2011-10-12T13:10:00.000+10:00

prediction

2011-10-10T16:54:00.002+10:00

blackboard perspectives

2011-10-09T08:42:00.004+10:00

Street talk

2011-10-08T15:54:00.000+10:00

Crow me a river

2011-10-08T15:48:00.002+10:00

water pistolero

2011-10-07T16:06:00.000+10:00

The global crisis, explained

2011-10-06T08:45:00.000+10:00

copycat

2011-10-05T11:40:00.000+10:00

How to open a door - Finnish style

2011-10-05T11:35:00.001+10:00

(click on cc to enable subtitles, otherwise you won't learn how to open a door properly).

No, THIS is a treehouse

2011-10-03T07:53:00.000+10:00

Important Government initiative

2011-10-02T21:45:00.001+10:00

fire hazard

2011-10-01T23:45:00.000+10:00

Hugs - the rub

2011-09-30T10:53:00.000+10:00

Lionel Ritchie teapot

2011-09-29T12:57:00.000+10:00

Baroque Beaker slays Honeydew

2011-09-28T21:48:00.002+10:00

Story here

Rick Perry saves a pretzel for the gas jets

2011-09-28T17:12:00.001+10:00

Harry Potter Game Over

2011-09-28T14:11:00.000+10:00

Ah feels better already!

2011-09-27T14:37:00.000+10:00

Homo sapien

2011-09-23T10:02:00.000+10:00

World reacts to latest Facebook changes

2011-09-22T11:49:00.000+10:00

Which one are you?

2011-09-21T13:47:00.000+10:00

World's largest water balloon fight

2011-09-13T15:03:00.000+10:00

See story here

When insults had class

2011-09-13T09:29:00.002+10:00

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Drunken moose ends up stuck in apple tree

2011-09-10T12:18:00.001+10:00

Swedish moose was on the hunt for fermenting apples when she lost her balance and became trapped in the tree. Full story here

Governor Rick Perry eats a corndog in front of a painting

2011-09-10T12:16:00.000+10:00

Go Rosco

2011-09-08T07:06:00.001+10:00

A classic cut from bar bands of the 70s

5 reasons to show how bad the economy is

2011-09-06T19:57:00.001+10:00

• I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail
• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen
• Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America
• They renamed Wall Street Wal-Mart Street
• When I called the Suicide Hotline, I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Ortis Deley - commentating legend

2011-09-05T13:17:00.001+10:00

See story here

coffee jerks

2011-09-02T23:31:00.000+10:00

100 Most beautiful words in the English language

2011-09-02T15:30:00.001+10:00

according to Deshoda

Ailurophile A cat-lover.

Assemblage A gathering.

Becoming Attractive.

Beleaguer To exhaust with attacks.

Brood To think alone.

Bucolic In a lovely rural setting.

Bungalow A small, cozy cottage.

Chatoyant Like a cat’s eye.

Comely Attractive.

Conflate To blend together.

Cynosure A focal point of admiration.

Dalliance A brief love affair.

Demesne Dominion, territory.

Demure Shy and reserved.

Denouement The resolution of a mystery.

Desuetude Disuse.

Desultory Slow, sluggish.

Diaphanous Filmy.

Dissemble Deceive.

Dulcet Sweet, sugary.

Ebullience Bubbling enthusiasm.

Effervescent Bubbly.

Efflorescence Flowering, blooming.

Elision Dropping a sound or syllable in a word.

Elixir A good potion.

Eloquence Beauty and persuasion in speech.

Embrocation Rubbing on a lotion.

Emollient A softener.

Ephemeral Short-lived.

Epiphany A sudden revelation.

Erstwhile At one time, for a time.

Ethereal Gaseous, invisible but detectable.

Evanescent Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time.

Evocative Suggestive.

Fetching Pretty.

Felicity Pleasantness.

Forbearance Withholding response to provocation.

Fugacious Fleeting.

Furtive Shifty, sneaky.

Gambol To skip or leap about joyfully.

Glamour Beauty.

Gossamer The finest piece of thread, a spider’s silk.

Halcyon Happy, sunny, care-free.

Harbinger Messenger with news of the future.

Imbrication Overlapping and forming a regular pattern.

Imbroglio An altercation or complicated situation.

Imbue To infuse, instill.

Incipient Beginning, in an early stage.

Ineffable Unutterable, inexpressible.

Ingénue A naïve young woman.

Inglenook A cozy nook by the hearth.

Insouciance Blithe nonchalance.

Inure To become jaded.

Labyrinthine Twisting and turning.

Lagniappe A special kind of gift.

Lagoon A small gulf or inlet.

Languor Listlessness, inactivity.

Lassitude Weariness, listlessness.

Leisure Free time.

Lilt To move musically or lively.

Lissome Slender and graceful.

Lithe Slender and flexible.

Love Deep affection.

Mellifluous Sweet sounding.

Moiety One of two equal parts.

Mondegreen A slip of the ear.

Murmurous Murmuring.

Nemesis An unconquerable archenemy.

Offing The sea between the horizon and the offshore.

Onomatopoeia A word that sounds like its meaning.

Opulent Lush, luxuriant.

Palimpsest A manuscript written over earlier ones.

Panacea A solution for all problems

Panoply A complete set.

Pastiche An art work combining materials from various sources.

Penumbra A half-shadow.

Petrichor The smell of earth after rain.

Plethora A large quantity.

Propinquity Proximity; Nearness

Pyrrhic Successful with heavy losses.

Quintessential Most essential.

Ratatouille A spicy French stew.

Ravel To knit or unknit.

Redolent Fragrant.

Riparian By the bank of a stream.

Ripple A very small wave.

Scintilla A spark or very small thing.

Sempiternal Eternal.

Seraglio Rich, luxurious oriental palace or harem.

Serendipity Finding something nice while looking for something else.

Summery Light, delicate or warm and sunny.

Sumptuous Lush, luxurious.

Surreptitious Secretive, sneaky.

Susquehanna A river in Pennsylvania.

Susurrous Whispering, hissing.

Talisman A good luck charm.

Tintinnabulation Tinkling.

Umbrella Protection from sun or rain.

Untoward Unseemly, inappropriate.

Vestigial In trace amounts.

Wafture Waving.

Wherewithal The means.

Woebegone Sorrowful, downcast.

72 hour timelapse of Waterford's 2011 Tall Ships in 10 minutes

2011-08-31T14:05:00.000+10:00