Saturday, February 26, 2011

Stonehenge with added Swedish


in flight service

A man was sitting in the bar in Departures at Heathrow. A beautiful woman walked in and sat down at the table next to him.
He decided because she had a uniform on, she was probably an off duty flight attendant.
So he decided to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flew for, thereby [he thought] impressing her greatly.

He leant across to her and said the Delta Airlines motto: "We love to fly and it shows."
The woman looked at him blankly.

He sat back and remembered another line. He leant forward again and delivered the Air France motto: "Winning the hearts of the world."
Again she just stared at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tried again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto: "Going beyond expectations."
The woman looked at him sternly and said, "What the fuck do you want?"

"Ah!" he said, sitting back with a smile on his face, "Ryanair!!!"

Friday, February 18, 2011

Monday, February 14, 2011

the real #superbowl

educational TV

The wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

She became more and more annoyed and finally said:

"For heaven's sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!"

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Brians across the world should beware of dyslexic zombies

As found at Time Trabble

Well officer, what happened was...


Man goes to the doctor and says: "I'm addicted to Twitter".

Doctor says: "I'm sorry, I don't follow you."

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Freewheeler: Downhill to Death Valley on a penny farthing

Those gay sumo snicker fights are all too common

full deck

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end you wished you had a fucking club and a spade.

Thursday, February 3, 2011